Seasons come. Seasons go.

OK! It's been a whole season since I have posted. Darn.

It was a fun busy summer filled with family and celebrations. And there will be a post for all of that later. But this post is for something very special.

I waited up last night till it was officially October. I love this month. And while I'm happy it's here, I'm sad that time has flown by so quickly. It's hard for me to look back and know that that time is gone. It won't be back.


Coop is growing up so fast. He says and does things that makes me smile and laugh all the time. And he is so loving. I just can't believe how grown up he is. Where did my tiny baby boy go?

Then there's the fact that I have been a single mom for about 2 years now. I can't believe where my life has gone since then. I have grown so much. But I have to admit that I have kept the wall pretty high. Not letting others in and not letting myself grow beyond the safety of that wall.

Well last night I was singing in our relief society enrichment night and as I was singing this very special song (Consider the lilies of the field) I felt the spirit so strong. I had to get through the song and not cry. But then as I sang the words, "And He will heal those who trust him. And make their hearts as gold." I broke. My wall crumble. The beginning of the song says, "Consider the lilies of the field, How they grow, How they grow... Consider the birds in the sky, How they fly, How they fly." I knew right then that my wall wasn't there to help me. Not only have I been keeping the hurt out. But I have been keeping the full happiness out as well. When I put my trust in Christ and let myself love then I will grow and fly.

A good friend of mine said something to me the other day and it hit me hard. He said, "You hurt deep when you love deep." And that made me think... I need love. I miss love. Not just being loved but letting myself love. Deeply! And if I hurt then so be it. Love and living fully is worth the risk.

I can't let another season pass by without loving deeply, living full and taking that risk. All I have to do is trust in Him.

With fall here I am filled with so much excitement for life and the twists and turns ahead. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. I admit it's scary but I'm ready.

Seasons come. Seasons go. And the way we live and what we do during these seasons of life is what it's all about. Life is not to be just endure, but to be enjoyed.